I wanted to start this out by saying “every girl dreams of getting engaged…” but then I realized that some really don’t. Actually, if you are reading this there is a really good chance that is you! So I won’t say that. I dreamed of getting engaged. Who would he be? What would the ring look like? What would our story be? I daydreamed about every possible thing, and he did not disappoint (that story to come.) What I did not know was how clueless I would feel!
He put that ring on my finger. We celebrated with my family and called his family. He went back to South Carolina, and I suddenly realized I had NO CLUE what to do. Where do I start?! One day I may write a big long post full of ideas a tips, but for now I have
5 things I wish I knew when I was engaged.
1. Have fun!
That seems obvious, but seriously, something about planning a wedding quickly turns us into robots…really tired robots. It becomes mechanical. Book this, find that, schedule them, it’s a huge to-do list. Slow down. Schedule in some fun. There is a reason there are sashes saying “Bride to be” on them and fun ice trays in the shape of rings. Enjoy this time! You are engaged! Let people pamper you and have fun with you. All of this will be in your memory for always. Don’t look back on a grumpy, stressed bride!
2. The little details are for you.
I have been married for 4 years. I am fairly confident that my mom and I are the only ones who remember what my centerpieces were. Don’t spend time stressing about stuff like centerpieces and whether to use cream or white for the invitations. You are most likely the only one who will remember. I will say however, don’t leave the little details out. Add in those special things. When I was in highschool my husband tied a purple ribbon around my wrist like a bracelet. I wore that for years! So when we got married, I made my own bouquet and tied that ribbon around it. No one knew but me and my bridal party. The little details are for you. Don’t worry about anyone else. If it’s special to you, go for it!
No really, relax. So many brides work so hard and stress so much that they spend their honeymoons sick! Our culture makes stress seem right. If you aren’t stressed, you aren’t doing it right. My dear, I beg to differ. Your wedding day is probably the biggest party you will ever plan. Everyone you love will be there. You get to wear an amazing dress. and you leave there with his last name! If, at the end of the day, you are married to your man, you planned a successful wedding. So, in the mean time, let the little stuff go.
4. Everyone and their Brother’s Aunt’s Sister will have an opinion.
It’s so true. There are the women who hated their weddings, and want you to have all that they didn’t. There are the women who want to just be involved. somehow, because it’s a wedding and who doesn’t love those?! There are the women who have been there and just want to help ease that burden (we mean well, honest!) You will run into so many opinions and ideas and it will be overwhelming. Get a small notebook and carry it with you always. When someone comes up with an idea, write it down. Then you can go back every now and then and check the notebook. Sometimes ideas that seem ridiculous the first time are exactly what you are looking for later.
5. Be a window, not a door.
This one is a big one. Windows let light and a good breeze in and the let everything else out. Doors tend to hold things in. If you are a window, then all of these opinions and ideas and stress can just go right on through. If you are a door, all of that mess just keeps piling up until you can’t take it anymore. Que Bridezilla. It’s not a pretty sight.
Being a window is a choice. You have to make it everyday. It means choosing to let things go. Chances are no one is actually trying to ruin your wedding, or your day. Most people just want to help. Remember, once that wedding is over, you still have a life to live. All of these people are a part of that life. Don’t let a little thing ruin your friendship/relationship with them.
The most gorgeous brides I have ever seen are the ones who left it all at the door, and truly enjoyed every moment of their weddings. I wish you the best of luck with yours!